The Snack That Smiles No More

Shock and horror flood through the aquatic nation as word is spread about the massacre of late Thursday night. This tale of tragedy and woe happened on the 24th of April in the now somber room of I2 in Fletcher dorm. It was during the dull of homework that Brittany entered the suite. Kaikai, the inhabitant of I2 called out her usual greeting of, “Quiet!” Apparently, this was provocation enough for Brittany. She threw her flip-flop at Kaikai, who was not phased, but simply proceeded to the window, flip-flop in hand. Her intention was to throw the innocent flip-flop out the window, as Brittany had done to Kaikai’s pillow a few days prior. When Brittany realized the imminent danger her flip-flop was in she raced to its rescue. Sadly, her rescue attempt was too late and the flip-flop, who had committed no crime, was flung out the window and plummeted to its doom. In a desperate act of retaliation, Brittany took out her revenge on the bag of goldfish, which were sitting helplessly on the windowsill. Their only crime had been their proximity. As the crackers crunched together, the cheesy bodies were mangled, mutilated, and mixed in the bag. With a few swift smacks, Brittany had managed to kill a community. And it did not end there. These victims too, were ejected out the 3rd-floor window. Bag and fish flew, and for an instant, the world held its breath. They landed unceremoniously with a sickening clatter. THE SAD ENDING The exposed corpses were scattered grotesquely across the grass. With no grave, they lay there baking in the sun. And various pieces still lie there, a solemn warning to anyone who wishes to try Brittany’s patience. THE HAPPY ENDING The flip-flop miraculously survived the fall and made a complete recovery. Reunited with its partner in a touching scene, the pair continue together to this day.