THE BEST GIFT OF ALL

 I like to share this poem once a year, because I find it a good reminder of what we have been given.

I am also including an illustration of a present. I've often seen the imagery of Christ in the stereotypical depiction of a gift. You may see crossing red ribbon, topped with a spiky bow. I remember a Savior wearing a crown of thorns and hanging on a cross, shedding His blood for my sake. And green wrapping paper reminds me of the life and growth which God gives to us. What a wonderful God!

THE BEST GIFT OF ALL

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my mind

My thoughts were a’ wandering, some vague, some defined.

The thoughts which I had were of God above

And how He gives us good things out of love.

The moon, sun, mountains, rain, and the snow

Have filled my life with a heavenly glow.

God gave me a family, a home to belong,

To love, to know, and to help me grow strong.

Blessed though I was, He blessed me some more.

My sinful soul He began to restore.

He saved me from death, from shame, and from self.

The greatest gift He gave was Himself.

A Baby King born so long ago,

Was the greatest Gift which God could bestow.

God. With. Us. Emmanuel.

God in flesh, with man to dwell.

The only way to save me from sin

Was for God on high to enter in.

A sacrifice was needed to save.

Christ faced the Cross and entered the grave.

My death is dead, because He died,

And because He arose, I am now alive!

I have a new family of Flesh and Blood

Which He purchased with nails, redemption, and love.

I have sisters and brothers, united thus

When Christ’s broken Body was given for us.

His Blood, poured out for you and me,

Has placed us on His family Tree.

We’re related by Blood and by Flesh, it is true,

Because Jesus died for me and for you.

I have a new family to love and to serve

This blessing I never could earn or deserve.

Unmerited favor cannot be obtained.

It is a gift of God, divinely ordained.

God’s grace is never based on myself.

If I was worthy, I wouldn’t need help.

I am blessed beyond measure, blessed to be free,

Blessed that my God has sought out me.

I’m secure in salvation, a gift so immense.

In saving my soul, God had spared no expense.

What price did He place on my life and my soul?

He gave up Himself to pay sin’s deadly toll.

Though He had already given His Son,

Still, God’s giving days were not yet done.

After defeating Death and the Grave,

Christ next explained how a Helper would save.

God’s saving Grace has redeemed my soul,

But Christ-likeness is now my goal.

I can’t succeed and be my best

If I depend on just my flesh.

I need a Helper to save me from me

To help me to be the best I can be.

God once more gave Himself to save.

He rescues me from being a slave.

I do not have to serve my flesh.

I do not have to remain a mess.

The Holy Spirit is changing me.

His Holy Love won’t let me be.

My Teacher, my Comforter, my Guide, and my Friend

Has reformed my heart, and continues to mend.

I’m being remade by my favorite present:

My God, the perfect omni-present.

It’s Christmas Eve, the perfect time

To bring these blessed thoughts to mind.

It’s a time of giving, so I will recall

How God has given me His all.

The greatest gift I have ever been given

Comes from the One Whom my sins has forgiven.

He saved me once by giving Himself,

And He saves me still with constant Help.

So many gifts and what joy each one brings!

My loving Father gives very good things.

I imagine the anticipation of Christ’s birth

Knowing God, in flesh, had come to earth.

I imagine the anticipation of Pentecost

Knowing God, in Spirit, would guide the lost.

I feel the anticipation of Christmas Day,

Knowing there will be gifts, and laughter, and play.

I lay and I thought, counting more than sheep.

I counted my blessings as I drifted to sleep.

It was Christmas Eve, late in December.

I had taken some time to reflect and remember.

I thought of my blessings and all of the presents,

But the best gift of all which God gives is His presence.

$3.44

“Peace is a fruit of the Spirit not a by-product of accumulated wealth.” Andy Stanley

The past 6 months or so have truly been a journey of trust for me. I moved across the country in January and once again found myself having to start over in a new place.

A new city.

New church.

New people.

New job.

This new city has proven difficult to my navigationally challenged self. It will be a while before I feel truly comfortable sailing the seas in a big city. But, that’s why we have Google Maps, right?

The new church was an easy choice. I visited only one, since it came so highly recommended by my sister.  I joined soon after my move.

Having new people has proven mildly challenging. It’s hard not to feel like you don’t know anyone when your church has 700 people. However, I remind myself that relationships take time to develop, and that I can’t expect to really know all 700. In the meantime, I have been blessed to be able to get to know my family better.

A new job has been difficult to wait for. I filled out hundreds of applications over several months. I did a small bit of subbing (which ended when I decided the money was not worth the abuses I found there). Otherwise, I had no luck on the job front.

The money I had was dwindling.

Honestly, the process of applying was stressful. The depleted resources felt like walls closing in on me. (insert Star Wars garbage compactor here) Yet, through it all, I maintained my firm faith that God’s timing is perfect. Although I didn’t particularly enjoy it, I understood that my waiting was there to teach me something.

As it turns out, my arrival in this new place and my availability was well timed to help out my family in a time of need. And later my position was such that they were able to help me out as well with living costs. I have been so blessed by God’s divine orchestration in our circumstances.

Like the widow the prophet Elijah stayed with, I was in famine. I had no income, and I was scraping the bottom of my jug. More than once I contemplated homelessness. I know God will supply all my needs, and I am far better off than most, but I still found myself scraping out the last oil and grain for a final meal.

You know what? My finances ran out. I faced bills, which my bank account couldn’t support. All I had left was $3.44.

Yet, I didn’t end up living under a bridge after all. You see, I thought that my bank account was my jug of oil. It seems kinda silly to me now that I was relying on that too much, when I should’ve been relying on God to care for me. I wanted Him to help me get more money so that I could support myself. Instead, God sent a clear message that HE will support me. My parents and my sister pitched in to get me to the end of this long race. My jug of resources wasn’t just my bank account. It didn’t just include what I had access to. My jug includes all that God has access to: all of HIS resources.

God came in famine, and He got me through it. I go in day by day and scrape out enough, and I know that my cup truly runs over.

I still owe 7 or more different people and organizations for my education, medical bills, housing, car, insurance, etc., but I have a job now. The rain is coming, and the famine will soon pass.

I have only $3.44 in my bank account,

But Friday is payday.

I AM an aunt

No, I’m not “going to be” an aunt. My sister’s due date for my nephew is today, yet, I’ve actually been an aunt for a while now. I never got to know my first nephew, who left us before we had the chance to meet him. And, the only interaction I’ve had with my soon-to-be-born nephew is to feel him moving underneath his mother’s skin.

Yet, I am an aunt. From the moment of conception, he has been my nephew. He has been a person. He has been loved. He will continue to be so after his birth.

Our culture sometimes likes to use phrases like “embryo” or “fetus” to imply that a baby before birth isn’t a person. However, these are just stages of development. Infancy, toddler, childhood, pre-adolescence, adolescence, and adulthood are all stages of growth and development as well.

Sometimes, I think we buy into our culture’s disregard for unborn life when we make announcements like, “We’re going to be parents!” or, “I’m going to be an aunt!” Hasn’t it already begun?

Or, why do we calculate our ages from our BIRTH-date as though we weren’t truly alive before then? I understand that it’s difficult to calculate a date of conception, but we can’t ignore the time spent, alive, in the womb.

Indeed, God doesn’t discount it. We could go to Psalm 139:13, where the psalmist describes how God knit him together in the womb. Or, we could go to Jeremiah 1:5 where God speaks of knowing us even before He knit us together in the womb.

Unborn children are so much more than almost human. They are God’s Creation, in His Image. My soon-to-arrive nephew has been made in the Image of God. He is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Whether my nephew is born today, or tomorrow, or next week, I am still and will still be an aunt. It won’t change. It’s not something we can change with terminology or a different mindset.

It is simply True.

I am an aunt, and I am loving every minute of it.

GOD (and the Gay Christian)

Matthew Vines authored the book “God and the Gay Christian” to try to explain how Scripture actually supports gay behaviors ("The Bible never directly addresses, and it certainly does not condemn, loving, committed same-sex relationships”). Vines is featured on Time.com with his article, “10 Reasons God Loves Gay Christians.” That will give you an overview of his position.
http://time.com/2842044/gay-christians/
There’s also this (short) video, which gives an overview.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmp6lLct-fQ
One of the tag-lines for the “God and the Gay Christian” movement is, ” What the Bible actually says — and doesn't say — about same-sex relationships is very good news.” I guess I’d prefer to stick with the Gospel being the Good News.
Christopher Yuan, who has also struggled with this issue and who has done his research into this exact topic has written this review of the book for Christian Post. 
http://www.christianpost.com/news/evangelicals-review-matthew-vines-god-and-the-gay-christian-book-118386/
I’ve put a couple quotes from the review here.

For Vines, ‘sexuality is a core part of who we are.’ This perspective makes his experiences (feelings, attractions, desires, orientation) essential to his identity. Our society may place a great emphasis upon a sexual identity, but Scripture does not. As a matter of fact, our identity should not be placed in anything (such as our sexuality, gender, or race) other than Jesus Christ. 

Christopher Yuan ends by saying, 

Jesus did not come to call the righteous, but was accused of being a friend of sinners. Too often, we are more like the older, self-righteous brother of the prodigal son, and our hearts are hardened toward the lost. This is truth at the expense of grace. But the approach that Vines suggests—grace at the expense of truth—also misses the mark. It overlooks the theology of suffering and gives us Christ without the Cross. Jesus, who personifies love, came full of grace and full of truth (John 1:14). Might this be how we live as well.

We do need to deal with this topic in a loving manner. Many gays have been hurt by Christianity’s aggressive tactics or uneducated blunders (this is part of Vine’s point). He says the book is, “for Christians who feel like they can’t support LGBT people and stay true to the Bible.” I think, if we stay true to the Bible, then we WILL be supporting these people. However, supporting someone does not equal supporting their beliefs. We need to express both Truth and Grace to those who have gone astray.
There has been much response to Matthew Vine’s book. Many would like to believe it, because it is comforting and/or culturally relevant. Many Biblical scholars have responded to Vine’s arguments. Dr. R. Albert Mohler Jr., the president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary wrote (with 4 other seminary faculty members) a longer response, which you can find here:
http://126df895942e26f6b8a0-6b5d65e17b10129dda21364daca4e1f0.r8.cf1.rackcdn.com/GGC-Book.pdf
Andrew Walker the director of Policy Studies for the Southern Baptist Convention's Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission also wrote on the topic. He said, 

If I was to condense the substance of Vines' book, here's what is happening: Vines has compiled liberal biblical scholarship and popularized it for a non-technical audience," Walker sums. "Let me be clear: Vines is not advancing new arguments. In fact, his work draws largely from existing gay-affirming scholarship. Vines is making liberal scholarship accessible for common audiences and then compounding its effect by bringing in the emotionally laden context of our times.

Here is Walker’s full response:
http://www.canonandculture.com/reformation-or-revolution-a-review-of-god-and-the-gay-christian/#conclusion
Walker ends his address with 5 things he would like to express to Vines: 

It is likely that Matthew Vines will read this review. As I wrote it, I thought to myself, what would I tell Matthew if we were to sit down over coffee and discuss his book?
First, I would tell him that I love him, and that he’s deserving of dignity and respect as an image bearer of God. I would apologize to him for what I can only assume are the countless insensitivities and insults he’s experienced as a same-sex attracted person. I would also apologize to Matthew for the pat, unhelpful answers and rejection he’s received from Christians who don’t know how to speak about homosexuality.
Secondly, I would give him a copy of Wesley Hill’s book. I would point him toward the testimony and work of my friend Sam Allberry’s book and heroic ministry, ‘Living Out.’ I would tell him of Rosaria Butterfield, whose testimony is a witness to the power of the gospel. I would be honest and tell him that these ministries provide more hopeful, and holistic narratives.
Third, because I love and respect him, I would be compelled to tell him that he’s deceived. He’s believed the lie that homosexuality will prosper his life.
Fourth, I would implore Matthew to repent of a book designed to cast a shadow of suspicion and doubt about the Scripture’s teaching on sexuality.
Fifth, I would exhort him to a path of discipleship with incalculable unknowns—unknown difficulties I will not experience and can only sympathize with. But I will commend him to set his desires before the cross, knowing that Jesus is better than any desire we think needs satisfied; that Jesus is better than marriage, than children, than sexual fulfillment itself. I would tell him about costly obedience. I would tell him about radical self-abandonment, something I imperfectly attempt each day. I would tell him the story of the Rich Young Ruler, reprised for today, and reframed around the issue of sexuality. I would tell him that the gospel subverts the very points at which we say, ‘Yes, Lord, but…’

3 Choices

We all ask ourselves 3 questions:
Who am I? (Identity)
Where do I belong? (Security)
What am I supposed to do? (Significance)

Each of us struggles more with one of these questions than the others. When I say that I struggle with belonging, it seems odd to me that anyone would struggle with anything else. Belonging is the obvious answer. However, in this case, I am a product of my past.

In the Harry Potter books, there are the Deathly Hallows, which are three magical objects. The Elder Wand, which is more powerful than any other wand. The Resurrection Stone, which can summon spirits back from the dead. The Cloak of Invisibility, which can conceal you from Death. As Harry and his friends discuss the Hallows, they agree that it's obvious which you would choose. They all voice their choice, and they each have chosen a different Hallow.
Harry has lost all of his family and thus chooses the Resurrection Stone.
Ron has grown up with impressive older siblings and thus wishes for the power and recognition associated with an unbeatable wand.
Hermione is the brainiac and thus chooses the smart answer of a cloak that can hide you from Death.
To each of them, the answer seems so obvious. Yet, their experiences define their desires.

I have grown up overseas. I have moved often, and I have had to adapt to cultures. I have created my own culture, which often means that I find it difficult to fit in. This is often a source of difficulty for me. I struggle with belonging.
Yet, it's not all bad. When I don't feel like I belong, it's just a reminder to me that this world is not my home. I am a stranger here. (1 Peter 2:11) And someday, I will get to go Home!

Maternal Mentorship

I confess, I never really know what to do with the (women’s) mentorship passages in the Bible.

For example, Titus 2:3-5. “ the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—  that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”

Now obviously, I am older than some. I work with the teens in the youth group, and I can do my best to model and teach godly behavior.

However, I see a difficulty here. None of these teens have husbands or children. I also have neither husband nor children. I guess I just ignore those portions? Do I admonish them to love their parents and siblings, instead? Maybe I just focus on the being discreet, being chaste, being good homemakers—oh wait, scratch that one too. Um, maybe teach and encourage them to do their chores?—, being good, and being obedient to their own [parents?]. It’s difficult to model relationships I’m not a part of to students who aren’t at that level either. So, I’ll just model a few steps ahead of them. Just as married women can mentor younger married women, perhaps I as a single woman can mentor younger single women. I can model reverent behavior, and teach them to be loving in the relationships which they are involved in now.

I also see a difficulty on the other side. I know how I can mentor, but the BEING mentored part has more ponderous problems.

Everyone is busy. It’s hard to find the time to really speak into someone’s life. Part of that is “lack of time,” and part of that is just that we like to talk, but we don’t often say much. It’s uncomfortable to get close, because then we’ll see each other, warts and all. I can talk with the teens about school and family, but it’s more difficult to ask them about their dreams or their struggles. I’m not trying to devalue small talk. Talking about school or work is important, because for most people it is a big part of their life. Discussing family or music or movies is a way to get to know each other. Once I get to know someone, I have to make sure that I take the time to find out what is important to them so that I can offer encouragement. Relationships take time, and I know that I struggle with making people a priority.

Also again, I’m single. Should I be mentored by an older, single woman? An older, married woman can’t teach me to love a husband that I don’t have. Do they prepare me for the possibility that I will one day be married? (What if I never do get married? I recognize that the preparation would be beneficial anyways, as it would teach me the basic principles of love and selflessness, which reach far beyond the bounds of husband and wife relationships.) And, I have no children (the having of a husband is a prerequisite for me for that). I guess I am involved a lot with children, so perhaps they can show and teach me to love these kids.

There are more problems. Since I am single, it’s hard to meet with people. I’m friends with many families. I love the kids, the parents, and I enjoy spending time with them. However, if I want to spend time with these mothers (these older women), I can tend to be either a babysitter (spending time with the kids and not the parent) or a distraction (spending time with the parent while the kids are left to their own devices). I could also be spending time with the whole family, but I’m still not getting opportunity to go deeper with the older woman. I do realize that teaching can be done through social time, and I can learn from these mothers through interacting with the kids, the mother, and the family together. The woman’s example as she interacts with her family can be a guide to me.

I’ve mentioned that people are busy a lot. Families are no exception. If I don’t get invited over, I can’t afford to invite them out to eat. Being single, I can’t invite them over to my house. I don’t have one. Or, should I just invite myself over to people’s houses? This doesn’t seem as strange to me, but it does seem a little forward or even rude. I’d feel like I was imposing.

Another big problem is the area of obtaining a mentor. According to this passage, these older women who are desirous that God’s Word should not be blasphemed, should teach and admonish the younger women. How do I obtain a mentor? Or, sometimes I’m even bold enough to ask, should I even be looking for a mentor?

I’m not saying that I think teaching and mentorship to be a bad thing. On the contrary, it is essential.

These older women who are passionate about serving God and others, and want to follow God’s Word and teach younger women will be seeking out younger women. They will find me, and they have. We talk about life and work and family.

Now I come to another problem. The passage tells the older women to teach specific things; things specific to married people. So, if a godly, passionate, older woman seeks to follow this passage of Scripture, then surely they will be looking for a younger, married woman to mentor and teach. It seems like they wouldn’t be looking for . . . me. Our culture has a good many young, single women who may have a difficult time knowing where they fit in.

There are a couple different ways of looking at the idea of a mentor. On the one hand, a mentor can be someone influential. A counselor or advisor. A supporter. Or, a mentor can be more like a coach, a life coach, whom you meet with for the specific purpose of going deeper and discussing life and struggles.

Let’s suppose that I decide that I need a mentor. The life coach kind. Let’s also suppose that nobody has volunteered. And, let’s suppose that I decide that it’s up to me to find one. Now what?

Do I try out every older lady in the church until I find one that works? Is it like dating? Do I make observations and try to narrow down the list until I find “the one” and then approach her to see if she’s willing?

As a woman, I have to search for a mentor. Where do I look? The teachers? Okay, so we’ve got the elementary teachers and the nursery teachers. Yes, obviously they are a good choice for their example of servitude, and I can learn from their examples as they teach and interact with the children in their classes. There are also the leaders of women’s small groups, who demonstrate their service, and perhaps the deacons’ wives would be good options to explore.

God has given me a church family full of women. Family. I have grandmothers who check up with me. I have sisters, both older and younger. I have aunts, and I have mothers who mother me with encouragement and affection. (None greater than my own mother, who has been my confidant and counselor as well as my greatest cheerleader and challenger. My own coach. My best example of maternal mentorship. ) In this Family, we stand together as sisters in Christ, holding hands and helping each other along through this life.

There are options out there for a mentor, but they must be sought out, asked for, and worked for in order to maintain. I suppose that’s life.

It is just difficult to know what my responsibility is as the younger woman, especially as a single one.

Any older women out there who can teach me the answer to that?

Freedom Found in the Gospel

Pastor's sermon today reminded me of another sermon he gave over a year ago, in March of last year. The sermon title was "Pass it On." This particular message has stuck with me, and being reminded of it, I had to go back and learn from it again.

Today's message "Patterns of Good Works," was a challenge to the menfolk. These men are to be on fire for God, living in the freedom which the Gospel gives to us. We're not obligated to pay for our salvation, but we are motivated to good works by grace.
We've been set free from needing things. Alcohol. Drugs. Even coffee (me genoito, may it never be!) They don't control us.
As Christians, we should be known for what we are free from.
We're free from the opinions of others, instead, able to let God's opinion shape us.
We're free from laziness, doubt, self-centeredness, and fear. We're even free from the immediate, as God helps us to look beyond our current circumstances. To quote Rafiki in "Lion King 1 1/2," we've got to, "Look beyond what you see."
It is the Gospel which sets us free.

The reason this reminded me of the "Pass it on" sermon is the pattern of excellence which is evidence of a life surrendered to God; the theme of freedom. I wrote a poem about the Three Chairs concept from that sermon, and here is a portion of that poem.

"Was I prepared to choose
A choice where I’d be free
To do my will? Or, did I want
To free myself of me?

Resolved, I made my choice,
And sat in Chair One.
I chose to sit upon God’s grace,
And rest in victory won.
True freedom came at last
When I was born above,
And gave up all my chains of Want
To be bound in chains of Love!

True freedom, then, at last!!
No burden left to bear.
God took possession of my heart,
And I will leave it there!"

Pastor's sermon this week continued to explain the need of examples for the young men.
Another portion of the poem:

"My life is a message,
Which others, surely, will read.
Does my life show them the Truth and the Way
So they, too, can be freed?"

Our lives are meant to demonstrate these good works, not to show how good we are, but to show how good our God is, that we are now free to serve Him. We're not free to do whatever we want. That would inevitably lead us once more into captivity. All the strivings of this world are never satisfied. We are freed from ourselves. We are free to be bound with Christ to God in love, through the freeing power of the Gospel.
The good works that follow are a manifestation of freedom born in our hearts, a demonstration of our newfound identity as children of God.
John 8:36 "Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."
2 Corinthians 3:17 "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty."

http://kaikaisheart.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-three-chairs.html
http://templebaptistfircrest.sermoncampus.info/main/main/9841729

THE BEST FRIEND

Who is there who can see into sorrow and speak into the silence, drawing out confessions of depression as poison from a wound?

Isolation breeds loneliness, and loneliness breeds isolation; a vicious circle with a public smile, and all the while the heart is rocked on an endless sea, an ocean of emotion where the only peace is found in a solid Savior Who rides beside in the silent storm.

Where is a faithful friend who will fight for freedom, who will break through walls, listening to life, and learning to understand; to hear the broken song of the soul, and to heal through the hearing, mending cracks by knowing them?

Am I to only ever have one, true friend? Then, I pour out my soul to God alone, for He alone cares enough to dare to know the state of my soul and to carry my outpourings for me, so I, known and loved, can rise renewed.

My heart cannot heal unless heard. My Friend, my only True Friend, never fails in His faithful efforts for my freedom, freeing me from myself.

“So many people claim that they have unfailing love, but who can find a faithful friend?” Pr. 20:6

“Unreliable friends bring one to ruin. But, there is a Friend, the best Friend, Who sticks closer than a brother.” Pr. 18:24

Things I love:

Beginning the drive home just as the sunset begins so that I can watch it set throughout the entire drive. The sun reflected off the road, and ignited my imagination. The golden sun created golden pavement as if I were travelling on a highway of gold. With a halo of clouds adorning it, the sun sank into a large cloud pillow. It seemed to be going to bed and peeked sleepily over the clouds once more before sinking into darkness. It all served to remind me of God's beauty and control, and I arrived home with hope as if the sun had passed its final spark of light directly into my heart.

THE THREE CHAIRS

Wednesday 3-6-2013

I saw three Chairs before me,
And I knew I had to choose.
Which chair would I sit in?
Which chair would I use?
I stopped and thought awhile
For my life was at stake.
The very nature of my heart
Was the choice that I would make.

The First Chair was appealing
For it was close to God.
A life absorbed in God alone,
No fear and no façade.
Just God and me, together.
We’d never be apart.
I’d follow His commands and Words.
He’d have all of my heart!

Yet, such a Chair was costly.
It asked so much of me.
I’d have to set aside my ways.
Didn’t know how I’d be free.
I was afraid of losing
Myself in all His care.
And so, I looked beyond Chair One
For a less demanding Chair.

The Second Chair seemed simple,
Not requiring all my days.
I’d still have God, but I would choose
What times to offer praise.
God would be in the corner
If I ever needed His aid,
And I could choose to come or go,
No matter if I’d prayed.

Yet, this Chair, too, was costly,
For I could never win
If I would still share my life
With the likes of Him.
My life would be a stalemate
Between this God and me.
I’d live with guilt for all my life,
And still not be free.

The Third Chair was alluring.
I’d be free to do MY will.
I could go and do anything,
And drink of life to the fill!
I wouldn’t need guilt
To tell me what to do.
I would get to judge my life,
Deciding what was true.

Yet, this Chair’s cost was highest
For I knew I’d lose my soul.
I knew I had to fix my sight
On a more eternal goal.
If I ignored God,
Pretended I’m alright,
I’d never open up for HIM
To set my life aright.

The Chairs sat and stared,
And I stared, too.
I knew my heart was hinged upon
The choice that I would choose.
Was I prepared to choose
A choice where I’d be free
To do my will? Or, did I want
To free myself of me?

Resolved, I made my choice,
And sat in Chair One.
I chose to sit upon God’s grace,
And rest in victory won.
True freedom came at last
When I was born above,
And gave up all my chains of Want
To be bound in chains of Love!

True freedom, then, at last!!
No burden left to bear.
God took possession of my heart,
And I will leave it there!
His Word will lead and guide.
I’ll follow His decree,
For I am lost inside His love.
Content. Just God and me.

Then, as I sat in joy,
I looked around to see
A crowd of other people who
Were drawing near to me.
Friends, family, children,
And some I didn’t know.
And yet, all seemed to look on me
To see where they should go.

I sat, then, in awe,
Of the choice that I had made.
I hadn’t truly known the reach
Of the truth my choice conveyed.
My life is a message,
Which others, surely, will read.
Does my life show them the Truth and the Way
So they, too, can be freed?

God plans and works to bless the world,
And will I pass it on?
I’ve learned that what you do not have
You surely can’t pass on.
I live God’s blessings, then,
And I will seek to share
With those around so they may know
The blessings of First Chair.

I can put on a show,
And fake holy zeal.
But, how can I point to real life
If I’m not being real?
In reality, work is required,
And if I want to bless,
I must embrace God’s Work and Word
And considerably invest.

If I sow in the flesh
I’ll only reap corruption.
But, if I choose to sow in Spirit,
I will reap salvation.
I cannot write my eulogy,
Except in how I live.
A legacy eternally sound
Is what I long to give.

I look back to my choice,
And then I look ahead.
What legacy will I have left
When I at last am dead?
Though it will cost my life,
Still, I will serve on,
And always, always, ask myself,
What will I pass on?

Feelings. Faith. Facts.

Feelings following faith, following the facts from the Father.

We follow the facts, the promises of our Father's favor and faithfulness, standing firm in the foundational truths articulated in the autographs of the immutable, infallible God.

Though the fortitude of our faith flows, the facts never fluctuate and are never found to fail. The facts fortify the flow of our faith, keeping it fast and firm.

Our feelings fluctuate further and more frequently than our faith. Yet, the facts remain firm. Follow the facts, finding them firmly founded in God's flawless and perfectly faithful nature, and your feelings will fall in line.

If our fluctuating feelings follow our flowing faith, which follows foundational fact, then we will be following the Father and despite the difficulties and fears in life, we will be firmly fastened in His faithfulness.

Praying is a Dangerous Thing. You Could end up Changed.

The Lord's Prayer:

Daddy, You're above all, and Your Name is above all other names. Your Name is holy, and You're set apart and sacred in Your majesty. No one is like You.
God, You reign in heaven, above all, and I want You to reign in my heart and in my life so that I will be ready to do Your will. I see You at work here in this world, and it gets me so excited! I want to see more! I want You to use me to accomplish Your purposes here on this earth just like Your puproses are fulfilled in heaven. I want to serve You.
Please, continue to provide for me the things that I need for living and serving today, but don't give me too much, or I'll grow complacent and begin to think that I don't need You.
I need Your grace and mercy, because I fail so often. Remind me of that grace when I see others' shortcomings and how they have failed me. God, I know that it's only through Your mercy that I stand, and I can't stand in Your mercy if I'm not living mercifully.
Don't let me chase after my own desires above You. Don't even let me go one step down that path. We both know where that leads, and we both know it ain't pretty. I'm easily overcome when it's up to me. I don't want to stray away from You, but I need Your help with this one. Every time I put something before You in importance, I'm following my own path into evil. You're going to have to save me from all these evils, because I'm tempted a lot. Only You can rescue me from myself.
You're the One Who reigns, You alone possess the power to get things done, and You get all the recognition for Your perfect works.
Truth.

Valentine's Day Love

I've found the love of my life! He's perfect, exactly what I want and need. He inspires me and challenges me. I'm always better when I'm with Him. He's faithful and pure. He's wise and caring. He speaks peace and teaches truth. He sacrifices for me and others, serving everyone as they have need. Each day with Him makes me feel like a flower in bloom, and I linger, wanting to memorize each Word He says. Each new moment with Him is the new best moment of my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Day 5/90 Through the Bible—Exodus 1-15

1:9-10 Perhaps the new Pharaoh was racist or an unkind leader. Why else would he worry about the Israelites siding with his enemies? He could have been paranoid. Surely the new Pharaoh could have come up with a plan to endear himself to the Israelites, instead of controlling them. As I’ve learned from Inception, “Positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time.”

1:12 It must be truly aggravating for your plans to have the reverse affect that you wanted, and for your enemies to grow.

1:15 The Israelites had only two midwives? They must’ve been busy. Perhaps they were the leaders, the generals, as it were of the midwives.

1:19-21 These midwives are pretty creative in their lying, and then God rewards them. However, He doesn’t reward them for the lies. They are rewarded because they feared God above men (even the Pharaoh). It’s not an argument for lying, but it is an argument for fearing God.

2:5-7 I think there is often a misconception that Pharaoh’s daughter heard Moses crying, and that is how she found him. However, the Bible says that she saw the basket, and it wasn’t until she opened the basket that Moses started crying. Perhaps the baby was used to floating in the river and being fetched out by his family. Perhaps he cried at the shock of being fished out by complete strangers (strange faces, clothing, smells, makeup, sounds, etc.) He also may have been hungry. It’s possible that he had come to associate the basket being removed and opened with being fed, so when it didn’t happen, he may have protested. So, it makes sense that Miriam’s first offer is to bring someone who can nurse the baby. This isn’t referring to a nanny/babysitter/governess, either. Ishshah nashiym (woman), yanaq (to give milk). It’s referring to a nursing mother, someone who could satisfy the baby’s needs.

Also, I’m not so sure that Pharaoh’s daughter finding Moses was an accident. The mother, Jochebed, was determined enough to hide him for three months, and I’m sure an Israelite woman would know where the Princess lived. She probably also knew where the Princess bathed, since it was customary for her to bathe in the river. I’m also inclined to believe that the water was safe, since the Princess was bathing in it.

2:20 Pharaoh’s daughter gave Moses a Hebrew name. She must’ve known the Hebrew language at least well enough to know “mosheh” drawing out of the water, rescued.

2:14 “Who made you a prince and judge over us?” Uh, I think that was God. He sounds like he’s sulking. (Who died and made you king?)

2:15 I wonder if Pharaoh (who was so desperately trying to limit the Israelites’ power) was galled to have an Israelite for an adopted grandchild. He might have even been glad to have an excuse to try to kill him. Moses was well-educated, and could easily become the catalyst leading to the revolt that Pharaoh was so desperately trying to prevent.

Moses flees and sits down by a well. This would be a great place to be sure of meeting people and possibly getting information and/or help.

2:16-19 Jethro (Reuel) was surprised that his daughters had come home so early, so I guess the other shepherds picking on his daughters was a regular occurrence. I wonder if he ever did anything to stop it. All it took was one man (Moses) to keep the shepherds at bay. Although, the daughters identified Moses as an Egyptian to their father (Did I somehow never catch that before?), which might have been enough to startle the other shepherds off at least this time.

2:24 God remembered His covenant? Does that mean that God forgot? Of course not. I can remember things I’ve never forgotten. John 3:16, anyone? It’s not like God forgot them (Oh, oops, sorry guys. I kinda forgot you were still there in horrible slavery. My bad.) No, he knew this would happen. Genesis 15:13-14

3:1 A lot in this one little verse. Moses is a shepherd now. We tend to accept this fact a little too quickly. We have to remember where he came from. This sort of work was way beneath his standard of living. In fact, you might recall from Gen. 46:34 that, “every shepherd was an abomination to the Egyptians.” (this helped the Israelites from intermingling, for sure). So, being a shepherd may have been a lot more difficulty than just a lack of skill for Moses. He may have also been facing some cultural difficulties in the idea.

Also, we accept very readily that Jethro was a priest of Midian, but who exactly were these people? Was Jethro a priest of God, or of an idol? The Midianites were descendents of Midian, son of Abraham and Keturah.

Also, he’s in the desert near Horeb, the mountain of God. I wonder if it was called the mountain of God then, or not until later. Also, did Jethro and family call it Horeb (a Hebrew name meaning desolate), or did they use its other name: Sinai. Did I never notice before that the burning bush mountain is the same mountain where the 10 commandments are carved? Perhaps God spoke to Moses out of the same bush later as well.

3:3 I think Moses’ response seems a bit tame. I think he would have been curious, excited, and maybe even a little scared to see a burning bush. He was brave enough to investigate something so out of the ordinary.

3:6 I tend to laugh at Moses for hiding when he realizes who it talking, but I can imagine that I would be hiding, too if I encountered God like that. I might even be more fearful, because I have more knowledge of God available to me.

3:7-11 I’ve seen the oppression. I’ve heard the cry, and I know their sorrows. (Yeah, God, it’s really bad.) I have come down to deliver them (About time, too!!) To a good, large land (That’s what I’m talking about!) Come, and I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring My people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt. (Whoa, hang on there. What happened to You coming down? I-I-I can’t do this!! I’m nobody!)

3:14 I AM THAT I AM (HAYAH ASHER HAYAH) A lot of focus in fantasy and entertainment is about the “Chosen One.” God here is THE ONE. He is. Self-existent. Eternal.

3:18 Wait a second, I thought the deal was to get the children of Israel out of Egypt? This says that god just wanted them to take a 3-day journey to the wilderness for sacrifices to God. This isn’t God being sneaky, negotiating for a holiday and planning total escape.

3:22 Women plunderers? Yeah! Take that, Vikings! I mean—Egyptians!!

4:1 Who is the “they”? The Israelites? The Egyptians? According to God, the Israelites would believe Moses’ words. So, perhaps the signs were meant for Pharaoh and the Egyptians. Looking at verse 5 clears it up a little.

4:2-9 Moses is given three signs to perform. All three of these are not good omens. Perhaps God is demonstrating His power to the peoples by His control over dangerous elements. Snakes can kill people, leprosy was a death sentence, and water changing to blood would be especially dangerous in such a dry climate. Water was precious. God could have chosen any signs (Look, I can make doves appear from my hands, and flowers appear, and find coins in your ears!), but He chose signs that would convince the people of His serious and powerful nature and purpose.

3:11-4:13 Moses gives every excuse in the book. I’m nobody. What will I tell them? What if they don’t believe me? I’m not eloquent. Send someone else.

However, I often do the same thing when God gives me something to accomplish for Him. I am too limited by my own disbelief to accomplish what I could accomplish if I had faith. Yet, God uses the useless to demonstrate His own worth in us.

4:16 “And you shall be to him as God.” Isn’t this the dream of all younger brothers?

4:20 Moses takes his wife and sons back to Egypt with him. In 2:22 he only had one son. It’s not until 18:4 that we find out that Eliezer was the second.

4:25 Moses was in Midian for 40 years. I wonder how old his son was when mom went at him with a sharp stone.

5:2, 4, 7-9 I always imagine this Pharaoh as sounding like Schwarzenegger. (Who is this God that I should obey Him? I don’t know this guy, and I won’t let Israel go!) (Why are you keeping them from their work! Get back to work!! They are so many, and they’re resting! Don’t give them any more straw for brick, either. Let them go find it! Same amount of bricks as before. They are lazy and whiny, so they need more work. Waah, waah, waah! We want a holiday! They need to be taught not to be so demanding!)  :D  That’s just too much fun. I can’t take Pharaoh seriously.

5:22-23 Moses complains to God. He seems to have forgotten that God told him that Pharaoh’s heart would be hard (3:19).

6:14-20 400 (430) years of captivity seems like a lot of time and a lot of people. I tend to think of it in terms of what that would look like today. However, their age spans were still much longer. Levi lived 137 years. His son, Kohath, lived 133 years. Kohath’s son, Amram (lived 137 years) was Moses’ father. So, Levi, Kohath, Amram, Moses. 400 years and 4 generations. Also, Levi lived in Canaan for at least 40 years before moving to Egypt. (Kohath might even have been born in Canaan.) Moses also lived beyond these 400 years. In 4 generations, God increased the 70 people (75 including Joseph and family) into a full nation. (in 12:37 they are numbered at 600,000 men, besides children)

6:20 Moses’ mother was also his great aunt. Weird.

6:10, 6:12, 6:30 Moses continually tells God that he’s not a good speaker and that he has uncircumcised lips. He keeps trying to get out of it. This doesn’t quite sound like the bold, Charleton Heston version that we’re so used to.

7:15-21 Moses visits Pharaoh in the morning at the river. Perhaps Pharaoh, like his daughter, bathed in the river. Or, he may have been performing early morning rituals (perhaps worshipping the gods). This morning visit from Moses happened a few times (8:20, 9:13). Moses communicated God’s consequence. The Nile turning to blood was more than just inconvenient. The Nile was the primary source of water and food, but above that, this was an affront to the gods of Egypt. The god Hapi (of the Nile), Khunum (guardian of the Nile), Osiris (of the underworld, the Nile was his bloodstream), Tauret (hippopotamus), and Nu (of life in the Nile). These gods were supposedly powerful. Even their blood, since it was divine, was supposed to have benefit, but this bloody river was definitely not beneficial. The river stank, and all this horror lasted for 7 days.

8:5 Now, frogs. This was inconvenient, but also held significance in the Egyptian gods’ inabilities. The frog was associated with Heqet (of life and fertility, appearing as a frog or with a frog’s head). The Egyptians weren’t allowed to kill frogs, either, since they were associated with the goddess. I also find it funny that the fertility goddess’ frogs would invade even Pharaoh’s bed.

8:8 Pharaoh knew who caused the frogs, and begged for them to be removed.

8:9-11 Moses actually let Pharaoh decide when the frogs would leave, so that God’s power could be demonstrated.

8:18-19 Even the magicians couldn’t replicate the lice, and they recognized it as God’s power. This was an attack on Geb, god of the earth. This plague would have been particularly disturbing to some Egyptian priests, who shaved off all of their hair daily for purification.

8:21 The fourth plague is commonly known as the “fly” plague. However, the word given doesn’t specify flies, just “swarms.” This could be mosquitoes, scarabs (the creator god, Amon-Ra had the head of a beetle), flies, gadflies, dog-flies, or gnats. Some people think it could have been a combination, or even animal infestations. This was also the first plague to have a distinction between the tormented Egyptians and the protected Israelites.

8:25 Pharaoh offers an alternative: offer sacrifices in Egypt, but that wasn’t God’s plan.

9:6 After plagues of blood, frogs, lice, and swarms, I’m not surprised that all the livestock died. However, I’m more inclined to believe that it was the swarms that brought on the disease, since neither the swarms nor the disease affected the Israelites. Perhaps these swarms were somehow linked to all the frog carcasses which were sitting around in rather stinky piles. They may have sprung from them or fed on them.

Some of the livestock were sacred to the Egyptians. Their gods were often portrayed with animal parts. The god Apis was portrayed as a bull, and his followers cared for a bull, which was believed to be an incarnation of the god. It was revered, and after its death it would be mourned, embalmed, and buried in a sarcophagus. This incarnation would have died along with all the other livestock during the plague. Other gods were represented as a cow, a ram, a cat, etc.

9:11 The magicians could not stand. They were also brought low before God. There were a few gods associated with medicine and healing, including Serapis, Imhotep, and Thoth.

9:13-14 The request is still to go out and serve God, not for them to leave indefinitely. Moses also informs him that the next plagues will be personal. Thus, the hail, was an attack. The hail could’ve been against Nut (the sun goddess), Shur (the wind god), or Isis and Seth (who supposedly protected the crops).

9:19 I thought that all the Egyptians’ cattle had died. Did they seize the Israelites’?

9:27 I feel sorry for this messenger. He probably had to run around, dodging fiery hail, trying to find Moses. I wonder if Moses was dodging hail on the way back to Pharaoh.

10:3 I think it’s pretty understandable that the leader of one of the most powerful and successful kingdoms of all time (in which he is considered a god), would find it rather difficult to humble himself before the God of his slaves. This would be a considerable loss of face before his people and the world.

10:7 Even Pharaoh’s servants and advisers couldn’t convince him. They realized that Egypt was destroyed. What pride to ignore everyone.

10:13 Locusts. Nepri (god of grain), Thermuthis (goddess of fertility and harvest), and other gods who protected crops (Isis, Ermutet, and Seth) were defeated by the swarms of locust.

10:15 The locusts left nothing green in the land. Now, when I think of Egypt, I tend to think of sand and stone, yet the Egyptian civilization grew and flourished through its use of the Nile river. There was much richness and greenness to lose, and they lost it all.

10:22 The darkness was mainly an attack on Amon-Ra, the sun god. This wasn’t just an eclipse, either. There was darkness (thick darkness) for three days.

10:26 Moses insisted on taking everything, explaining that even they didn’t know what they would need to serve God with. I wish the airlines realized this and helped me out with my luggage. Who knows what I’ll need to serve God later. :D

12:11 They were to be ready to leave. God knew that Pharaoh would pursue them. Maybe they needed the extra head-start.

12:29 This last plague would have crippled Egypt emotionally, legally, and spiritually. The loss of the cherished firstborn would have been tragic, but the firstborn was also the heir to a greater portion of the father’s possessions. The younger sons didn’t have the same rights. Also, this last plague was a final blow to all the gods, many of which were represented with animals. The firstborn of men and animals died, proving once more that the gods of Egypt had no power. And, finally, this was an attack on the divinity of Pharaoh himself.

13:3-5 What happened to the “just going to make sacrifices” deal?

13:17 God protected His people, knowing what they could handle at each moment.

14:3, 5-6 Pharaoh decided that they were helpless and lost on their own, and his people agreed that they didn’t want to let the Israelites go.

14:11-12 The people lose heart at the first instance. I think God planned it so they could know that they could depend on Him even when they were “on their own.”

14:17, 20 If I’m going to be destroyed in my own country, let the rebellious slaves go, then decide they’re weak and pursue, I’m probably not going to shame myself with retreat when I see them marching through the middle of an ocean, especially when a stupid cloud is blocking me.

15:14-16 Israel got a reputation! You can’t hush up something like the devastating destruction of Egypt.

15:20 Miriam is labeled as a prophetess. I wonder if she had prophesied Moses bringing salvation to her people. As a girl she was used of God in bringing about this salvation.

Day 4/90 Through the Bible--Genesis 41-50

41:7 How can a plant devour something? The Hebrew word, bala, means, “to make away with (specifically by swallowing); generally to destroy: - cover, destroy, devour, eat up, be at end, spend up, swallow down (up).” (Strong’s) So, swallowed, destroyed. I think I can picture one plant destroying another.

41:45 Joseph’s wife is the daughter of a priest of On. At first, I wondered if On was a god, but a little bit of research tells me that On was a place. Not just any place, either. It was in lower Egypt, and it was the major center for worship of Ra, the sun god. The priests of this city were considered to be knowledgeable in the history of Egypt. These priests were very studied, and Greek philosophers even came and studied in the priests’ training centers. Pharaoh didn’t give just any wife to Joseph, he gave a daughter from wise people.

44:1-3 I think after the first time (and following panic attack), I would’ve checked my sack of grain before leaving Egypt a second time.

I’ve also wondered why Joseph never searched for his family once he had the power and resources. Was he still afraid of his brothers?

46:21 Benjamin had 10 sons by the time the family moved into Egypt.

47:6 Pharaoh gives them the best of the land (Goshen), and even asks them to be rulers (chiefs, keepers) over his own cattle. (Hey, you guys are good with livestock, I’d like to put you in charge of mine. (This coming from the ruler of one of the greatest civilizations.))

47:7 Jacob comes in and gives Pharaoh a blessing. It’s crazy to think that an old shepherd like Jacob could have anything to offer to the Pharaoh. Then, I remember how important Jacob was to God. Pharaoh ruled a powerful country, but Jacob served GOD!

47:13-26 Joseph lives up to some Jewish stereotypes here. He’s such a wise man with money, securing everyone’s money, livestock, property, and even the people themselves. And, you know it must’ve been bad, because even after all that loss, the people were still grateful to Joseph for saving their lives.

47:29-30 It’s a testament to Jacob’s faith that he wants to be buried in Canaan, the land of God’s promise.

48:9 Joseph’s sons were at least 19 years old when they were blessed. They were born in the years of plenty, Jacob and family came to Egypt after 2 years of famine, and they’d been in Egypt for 17 years before Jacob was dying. (41:50-52; 45:11; 47:28) They were effectively adopted under Jacob, since both Ephraim and Manassah became a part of the 12 tribes of Israel. Ephraim led to Joshua, while Manassah let to Gideon.

48:10 Jacob, like his father, Isaac, had failing eyesight in his old age.

48:13-14 Jacob also blesses the younger Ephraim over Manassah, just as Isaac was over Ishmael and Jacob was over Esau.

Chapter 49

Reuben (see, a son) is demoted. Simeon (hearing) and Levi (attached) are denounced for evil plans and separated. Jacob makes a play on words here. Judah(praise)’s name (Yehudah) comes from the word praise (yadah) that is used. Zebulun(habitation)’s blessing talks about dwellings and havens. Issachar (he will bring a reward) becomes a beast of burden providing benefit to his masters. Dan(judge)’s name comes from the word “judge” (diyn) that Jacob uses. Gad (troop) comes from the same word “overcome” (gud) that is used. Asher (happy) becomes a great chef. Naphtali (my wrestling) has good words. Joseph (he will add) will be fruitful. Benjamin (son of my right hand (or, originally, son of my sorrow)) is a wolf and violent.

49:31 Jacob is buried with his family, in Canaan, in the same cave as Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, and Leah. It’s interesting that he doesn’t ask to be buried with his favorite wife, Rachel.

50:15-18 I wonder if the brothers made up what Jacob had said. (Dad told us before he died, that you had to be nice to us.) It must’ve been painful for Joseph to realize that his brothers still didn’t believe that he had actually forgiven them. He reminded them (20), that God’s plan had been at work.

50:23 Joseph lived to see Ephraim’s third generation!!

50:25 Joseph also wished to be buried with his family, in Canaan.

Day 3/90 Through the Bible--Genesis 29-40

29:8 Why wait for all the flocks? Perhaps it was heavy? The shepherds say they can’t water the flocks until everyone is gathered and “THEY have rolled the stone”. It may have required more than one person, but then, Jacob rolls it away himself.

29:14 Laban greets Jacob with almost Adam’s exact words that he greeted Eve with for the first time: “Surely you are my bone and my flesh.” The same words bone (etsem) and flesh (basar) are used in both passages.

29:20 Really? This sounds like a chick flick on steroids.

29:31-35:18

Leah: Reuben—see, a son (God has seen me, now, my husband will see me! Look! Look!)

Leah: Simeon—hearing (Alright, Jacob didn’t see the first son, and love me, perhaps he’s not good with the whole eyesight thing, so maybe he can hear instead.)

Leah: Levi—attached (Okay, so the seeing and hearing failed, maybe this time we’ll be attached at the hip. Maybe I should literally tie him to myself.)

Leah: Judah—praise (Maybe if I just sing loud enough, he’ll get the picture that I’ve borne him 4 sons and he’ll love me. *sigh* Maybe I should just forget him and praise God, who’s blessed me.)

Rachel (Bilhah): Dan—judge (Hah! See, God’s judged and I’m just as good as my sister! I can have sons, too!)

Rachel (Bilhah): Naphtali—my wrestling (My sister and I have been going at it, fighting all over. She thought she had won, but now I’m winning!!)

Leah (Zilpah): Gad—troop (Oh, hey, look, a troop.) [Perhaps she’s deliberately ignoring Rachel.]

Leah (Zilpah): Asher—happy (I’m so happy! I will be known all over as being blessed, because I’m so awesome at bearing sons!!)

Leah: Issachar—He will bring a reward (Oh yeah! Here’s my reward for giving my servant to my husband, so I could give him even more sons!!)

Leah: Zebulun—habitation (Another son! He’s gotta love me more and live with me now!)

(Leah: Dinah—justice (Justice is served! I’m awesome.))

Rachel: Joseph—He will add (Oh yeah! I’ve got a son! God’s going to give me another one! C’mon God!)

Rachel: Ben-Oni—son of my sorrow (Ah! I’m dying! Tragedy! My sons will grow up without their mother!) Jacob: Benjamin—son of my right hand (This guy is really, really special. He deserves honor.)

30:1-2 Rachel’s reaction to barrenness “Give me children, or else I die! . . . Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to her, and she will bear a child on my knees, that I may have children by her.” sounds a lot like Sarai, “See now, the LORD has restrained me from bearing children. Please go into my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.” The husband’s reactions are identical. They do what their wives told them to do.

31:19 Why does Rachel steal the household gods? Did she want them? We never hear of her actually using them.  I think she was not happy with her father, she knew he loved them, and she wanted to hurt him. 31:14-16 We see that neither Leah nor Rachel enjoyed their father’s treatment of them.

31:32 Kill whoever has what was taken from you. This sounds like the cup in the Joseph story.

31:47 Jacob names the place with a Hebrew name, and Laban names it with a Syrian (Chaldean) name. Laban was a Syrian, as identified in 25:20. They weren’t being divisive. They gave different names so that their descendents would understand what the place was. The place could testify in two languages.

31:52 Here is the first ever recorded restraining order.

32:10 Jacob makes all these preparations for meeting his brother, Esau. He’s placed everything in order, planning as much as he could to prevent damage and place as many barriers as he could to figure out his brother’s motives. THEN, Jacob prays with humility to God, asking for deliverance. I’m truly glad that I’m not God, because I sometimes think that Jacob deserved to be destroyed by Esau. Was Jacob ever repentant for what he had done, or did he just brush it off, attributing his behavior to his nature (as evidenced in his name)? Hey, I can’t help it, guys. My name is Deceiver.

32:24 Why was Jacob alone? To pray? Why was he wrestling a stranger? I think, on the verge of meeting my brother (and his 400 men), I’d be a little tense and on the lookout for anyone out to hurt my family, especially when my brother was plotting to kill me the last time I saw him. I’ve also wondered why Jacob won’t let him go without a blessing. I’m thinking that it was probably so he could be sure that whoever the stranger was, they weren’t an enemy.

33:4 If I was a red, hairy, manly, outdoorsy, hunter like Esau, I don’t think I would have been that close with my white, smooth, deceitful, homebody, mama’s-boy, little brother, especially after he took advantage of my starvation to rip-off my birthright and then outright stole my blessing as well. Yet, when Esau is re-united with Jacob, he runs to meet him, embraces him, falls on his neck, kisses him, and weeps. As much as I don’t get along with my sisters sometimes, I dearly love them.

33:10 “But Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” And Jacob said, “No, please, if I have now found favor in your sight, then receive my present from my hand, inasmuch as I have seen your face as though I had seen the face of God, and you were pleased with me.” This “face of God” (paniym elohiym) is very similar to the name “Peniel: ‘For I have seen God face to face’.” I’m sure Jacob’s late-night encounter was on his mind.

34:15 Jacob’s sons proposed circumcision as a mere act that would unite the two groups. However, circumcision was not just an act, it was a sign of a covenant. It identified Abraham and descendents as partakers of God’s promise. For these foreigners to accept only circumcision was not enough for them to be joined with Jacob’s family, just as going to Church doesn’t make you a Christian.

Chapter 34 Dinah’s name means justice, but I’m not sure she ever had any.

35:2 It seems that Jacob knew that his household had foreign gods among them, but he’d not really done anything about it. Oh, look, it’s time to go to Church (make offerings), let’s all take our showers (purify yourselves), get all dressed up (change your garments), and put on our happy faces!

35:4 I’m wondering how Jacob managed to hide all the idols under a tree without anyone knowing. He had such a large family and household, surely someone would have seen him. Or, perhaps he was hiding them from other people, intending to come back with his family and pick them up after their sacrificing was over.

35:11 God tells Jacob to be fruitful and multiply. Hey now, I thought he was already pretty fruitful. He has 11 sons and one daughter. That’s pretty productive in my mind. Yet, Jacob obeys, because 5 verses later in v. 16, Rachel is in childbirth again. Perhaps Jacob had to be commanded. Maybe Rachel’s first pregnancy was difficult, and he didn’t think she’d live through another one.

35:22 Reuben ruins his chances.

35:23-26 In the list of Jacob’s sons, Leah, incredibly, has borne HALF of them herself (not with Zilpah)! Plus a daughter. She was one amazing woman, and she ends up in the line of Christ.

37:5 I always wonder about Joseph’s attitude as he’s sharing his dreams with his family. Jacob doesn’t seem to have any problem with the dreams until (10) he hears about the “sun and moon” bowing to Joseph. Then, he rebukes Joseph.

37:17 Why did Joseph’s brothers go from Shechem to Dothan? Were they trying to throw their father (or brother) off their trail? Was Dotham better for feeding flocks or for entertainment?

37:21-22 I wonder if Reuben’s attempt to save Joseph (his father’s favorite) was an attempt at redeeming himself in his father’s eyes for sleeping with Bilhah.

37:28 Joseph was sold to Ishmaelites. These were relatives, his grand-uncle’s descendents. (Hey, cousin! Wanna buy your cousin as a slave?)

38:12 Judah’s wife dies and he is comforted and goes up to his sheepshearers at Timnah. So, is it the sheepshearers that are the comfort, or is he mourning and then going back to work?

38:15-16 Was Judah’s act of engaging in prostitution normal for him? Was it normal for men in general?

38:21-22 How embarrassing.

38:24 Tamar “played the harlot” literally.

39:4-6 Joseph was only 17, yet he was in charge of all in Potiphar’s house (which would have been a lot, since Potiphar was the captain of the guard). Yet, teens nowadays are often not even responsible enough to clean their rooms, do their chores, or complete their work without urging from parents or other supervisiors.

39:17 Potiphar’s wife passes the blame: “the Hebrew servant whom you brought to us.” It’s a tale as old as time. Even back in the beginning, Adam and Eve tried to pass the blame: “the woman who You gave to be with me.”

40:8 I truly love how Joseph acknowledges God as the interpreter of dreams. I wonder, though, what the reactions were. His question: “Do not interpretations belong to God?” Is that a rhetorical question? A statement? I wonder how the chief butler and baker reacted to it. In their god-filled religion, was it possible that they even understood him?

Day 2/90 Through the Bible--Genesis 17-28

17:5 Abraham’s new name reflects God’s promise to him. That would be so incredible to have your name as a testament of God’s promise; to be known, identified by what God will do in you.

17:1-18 God tells Abraham that he’ll be the father of many nations. Abraham is good with that. God tells Abraham that he will keep the covenant by circumcising all the males. Abraham says nothing. God tells Abraham that his wife, Sarah will have a child. Abraham cracks up and makes a big deal of it.

Sure, Abraham probably liked the “father of many nations” bit, but why no reaction to the second bit? Perhaps he was in shock. I think if I heard the sign of the covenant that God had in mind, I might have protested. “Is that really necessary, God?” Perhaps he just didn’t understand . . . yet. So, he cracks up about his old woman having a baby, instead. As if THAT was too hard for God.

Then, in chapter 18, God visits Abraham again. Perhaps Abraham forgot to mention to Sarah that God had told him that they were going to make a baby. God pops by to give a friendly reminder. What does Sarah do? She laughs. Imagine your grandparents having a baby. I laughed. Why is it a surprise that Sarah laughs? We somehow expect her to be more in-tune with God’s plan and power because, she’s a Bible character. Both Abraham and Sarah were almost 100 years old! The idea that people that old could have a baby, I find that laughable, too.

18:32 Lot was ineffective. He knew about God, but his presence in Sodom did nothing to improve its depravity. Sodom would have been spared for 10 righteous people. Lot. Lot’s wife. Lot’s two daughters. Lot’s two sons-in-law. That adds up to 6 people. It’s not quite 10 people, but surely Lot interacted with people outside of his family. Indeed, in 19:1 we learn that Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. The gate was where the city’s leaders, officials, and judges sat. These were the powerful, influential people of the city, and Lot was one of them. However, for all his power and influence, there were not even 10 righteous in the city. I wonder if Lot’s own family could have been counted among the righteous. Not to mention the others in Lot’s own household. When he went to Sodom, he had “flocks and herds and tents” (13:5) and herdsmen (13:7). Surely some of his servants would have heard him talk about God? The only ones saved were his immediate family. His wife didn’t end up making it, and later his daughters got him drunk to impregnate themselves. Sounds like Lot was really effective. (Please note the sarcasm.)

We know that Abram was 75 when God established His first promise and Abram left home (Gen. 12). Then next mention of Abraham’s age is when Ishmael was born (Gen. 16). Abraham was 86. After that, we know that he is 99 at the introduction of circumcision (Gen. 17), and following that we have the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham and Lot separate somewhere between them leaving home and Ishmael’s birth. That means it was somewhere between Abraham’s 75th year and his 86th year that Lot went to Sodom. The destruction of Sodom was after (or at) Abraham’s 99th year. Thus, we can estimate that Lot spent between 24 and 13 years in and/or around Sodom. In all that time, he had approximately no godly influence on the people.
In Gen. 13:13 they are “exceedingly wicked and sinful against the LORD,” and in Gen. 18:20, “the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grave.” This doesn’t sound like anything has improved. The words “sinful” in chapter 13 and “sin” in chapter 18 are related. “Chatta’ah” and “chatta” come from the same word “chata,” meaning, “to sin; by inference to forfeit, lack, expiate, repent, (causatively) lead astray, condemn: - bear the blame, cleanse, commit [sin], by fault, harm he hath done, loss, miss, (make) offend (-er), offer for sin, purge, purify (self), make reconciliation, (cause, make) sin (-ful, -ness).” (Strong’s) The sin factor here has not changed. This sin is not unheard of, either. The “wicked” in 13:13 is the same word “ra’ah” in 6:5, when God decided to destroy mankind with the Flood. So, even in chapter 13, the city was ripe for destruction. Perhaps Lot’s stay delayed the destruction, but it was not enough to prevent it. There weren’t even 10 people to show for Lot’s involvement.

20:2 Okay, so now this old lady, who is “too old to bear children” is appealing enough for King Abimelech to take her. Interesting. She’s almost 100, but she’s still good looking. I could live with that.

20:18 All of Abimelech’s women were barren while Abraham and Sarah were there. They must’ve been there long enough for someone to notice that fact. Yet, for all that time, Abimelech had not come near Sarah. Perhaps they stayed so long because Abraham couldn’t figure out a way to reclaim his wife/sister since the king had taken her. Then, I find it interesting that Abraham prays and Abimelech’s family is healed and they can bear children again. Exactly after this, Sarah conceives and bears a son. Perhaps she was healed along with Abimelech’s household.

21:7 Sarah is thrilled that she could bear a son for her husband, “in his old age.” However, he wasn’t anywhere near too old to have kids. After Sarah dies, 37 years later, Abraham remarries and has 6 more sons (25:2), before dying at the age of 175.

21:8 I think it’s kinda funny that they decide to have a feast when Isaac is weaned. That doesn’t sound like a fun day for Isaac, but everyone else is having a party. Also, perhaps it was a rough day for Sarah, and so when she sees Ishmael scoffing, it sets her off so much more easily. Plus, now her son has made it through some pretty risky childhood, it’s more important to get rid of anyone who might rival her son. So, Ishmael, who’s maybe around 16, gets the boot with his mom.

21:22-34 Abraham makes a pact with Abimelech about the water resources. Is this the same Abimelech, perhaps?

22:12 Classic story of faith. Abraham believed God and acted. Abraham didn’t withhold his only son. If you think about it, God Himself didn’t withhold His only Son, either.

23:3-18 There’s such a cultural dance here as they decide on price in all politeness.

24:2 “Please, put your hand under my thigh . . .” Does anyone else find this kinda awkward? I know it’s cultural, but it’s just so foreign to me. I wonder what they’d think of pinkie promises.

24 In some ways, I think it would be rough to be Rebekah and to leave my home and family to marry a stranger. However, you gotta keep in mind that she was marrying the only son of a very wealthy man. I bet that helped.

25:25 Esau was a hairy, hairy baby. Now, sometimes premature babies have a lot of body hair, but it usually falls out within a few months. Ears, back, knuckles, chest. However, Esau’s seems to have lasted his whole life. Perhaps he had Hypertrichosis.

25:29 Esau has been out hunting for food. This isn’t an afternoon job, either. It could take weeks out, alone, in the wilderness. He probably ran out of food and ended up fasting. (A few verses later, in 26:1, we learn that there was a famine, perhaps it was already having an effect.) So, when he returned and was weary and starving, it’s safe to assume that he didn’t catch anything. I used to think he was silly for selling his birthright so easily. However, he might have literally been starving. He even says that he’s about to die. If it was a choice between my birthright and my life, I think I would take the stew, too.

26:1 Here is Abimelech, the King of the Philistines in Gerar again. The same guy? This time, it’s Isaac who lies about Rebekah, and the king discovers the deception. (Did nobody notice their two sons? Or, did they not come?) If I was Abimelech, I’d be tired of their whole, lying family. However, Isaac lives and thrives in the land, until the Philistines get jealous. They stop up all the wells (probably the ones in chapter 21 that were a part of Abimelech and Abraham’s pact). Then, Isaac leaves. Some bickering over wells ensues, and Abimelech goes with Phichol to meet with Isaac in Beersheba to make a pact. This is very similar to Abraham’s meeting at Beersheba with Abimelech and Phichol. Are these the same people?

Chapter 27

Rebekah fits right into this family. Abraham lied, Isaac lied, and now she’s teaching her son to be tricksy. It’s not surprising to see where Jacob’s later life and his dealings with Laban came from.

28:6-9 Esau notices that his parents don’t like the Hittite women. He already had two Hittite wives (26:34). So, in order to solve the problem, he takes another wife. This time it’s a relative, Ishmael’s daughter. If he’s trying to please his father, I don’t think that marrying the daughter of his father’s rival will get him any points.

28:20 Jacob pledges that if God will be with him, keep him safe, give him food and clothing, and that he will come back to his father’s house in peace, then God will be his God. There seems to be a lot of conditions here in this pledge. He’s expecting a lot from God.